Last night August only ate one time. That means he only needed me one time. That means that I got to sleep most of the night...well kind of. When I put him back down after feeding him I was wide awake. I struggled to fall asleep because my mind was racing, thinking about what what going on in my heart. So, really I was awake off and on from 3:40am til we left the house at 6:40am. I really could have used those couple of hours. I guess I will have to catch up later. That's what seems to happen when you are a new mother. Catch up sleep has to come later.
Truman, August, and I rushed to the lakefront to watch the sunrise this morning. It was so refreshing to sit and watch the fireball rise from the horizon. Then as I turned my head and saw how the lake seemed to go on for days it seemed that the lake and the sky met with such peace. I am glad I got to see that this morning. It calmed my soul.
3 comments:
whats going on in your heart at 3:00am? sorry you lost sleep about it. how refreshing to see such a beautiful sight.
My heart at 3:00am->When August will sleep through the night; how tough it will be to stop breast feeding (I read your blog about your Isaac); when we will move into our own place; how I am going to earn some type of income; what August will be like when he grows up; what type fo parent I will be when I actually have to discipline him; how to help my marriage; when we will have a normal life- by the way, what is normal? Everything seems so far from what I ever imagined. Although God has shown me his great provision over and over, I still doubt. Wow, what a human I am.
ashley- i just read your comment to my comment. i've been thinking about you. You have a lot going on in your mind at 3:00am. Sometimes our anxieties are magnified in the middle of the night. The more human you feel, the better off you are. The more you realize what a mess you are you, become like the woman who poured perfume at Jesus' feet. this woman realized her need for Christ. when we accept our messiness, we can come into the fullness of God's love for us. I am praying for you. love.
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